HBAC (home birth after c-section) BABY!

I have visualised writing this birth story ever since I found out I was pregnant with my second!

I knew from the get go I would be having a home birth this time round. I’d considered it with my first but ultimately, given it was covid and the unknown, I decided to go ahead with a midwife led birth, which through the interference of consultants, ended up being an emergency c-section after a 24 hour labour.

As we did the 1-1 egg course with my first, we felt confident in our knowledge around hynobirthing. So with this pregnancy we chose to do a power hour with a focus on home birth. By that point I’d already had consultants use scare tactics and coercion (mainly using the D word) to get me to birth my baby at hospital. So speaking to Elle gave me such a confidence boost and reminded me that I could birth my baby on my terms.

I’m so happy to say I got my HBAC. I went 12 days over due and was seriously ready to let them induce me after so many false starts since being 34 weeks.

I went into spontaneous labour at around 9pm on the 26th of August and delivered my baby boy at 6.13am the next day, in the pool in my living room. It was incredible and exactly how I had visualised it all those months. He weighed 8lb 9oz and after having so many growth scans they had plotted him on the 3rd to 10th percentile…he came out on he 61st!!

I am so happy that I stood my ground, did my research and ultimately trusted that body would do what it needed to do. Having the most dreamy birth after a traumatic one has really helped me be at peace with how my first birth turned out and I feel so proud of myself.

A big thank you to the amazing Elle who reassured me throughout and gave me the confidence I needed to advocate for myself. I did it!

Thank you so much for all your support. I appreciate the time you’ve always taken to reply to me You’re a babe!

"We look back on my labour with positive vibes and total gratitude to the midwives and Elle..."

When I found out that I was pregnant I was delighted to become a mummy, but instantly nervous about the birth. With being someone who is very squeamish and who has had a lifelong phobia of needles, I initially tried to push the thought of labour to the back of my mind. Once we had our 12 week scan things started to feel more real and as my bump grew, I knew I need to prepare myself, whilst avoiding people's horror stories!

I started listening to hypnobirthing audio books and looking into class options. A friend suggested EGG classes after following Elle's page and I instantly fell in love with her warm personality through her stories and positive messaging. We signed up to the classes and I was delighted to receive a little welcome pack with: positive affirmation cards, candles, information packs for mum, dad and course content notes etc because I knew we were in safe hands.

The course was great for us because it gave us the facts in a positive way. It made me feel more calm and confident about the labour and excited to meet my baby. I enjoyed learning more about the tools to aid labour: like birthing positions and techniques to help me to relax plus stay focused. I also developed a better understanding of pain control, our options and our choices. I particularly liked the language prompts to speak to medical staff (BRAIN) rather than getting swept along with their time frames. My husband felt that he gained a clearer understanding of the whole process and clarity on some common preconceptions of labour (I.e. birthing on back, screaming in pain, gushing waters.)

Prior to the course I had been concerned about the lack of control during labour and that medical staff would push us to stick to certain time frames, in terms of a sweep, induction and so on. However, throughout the pregnancy and labour I felt that the midwives informed us of our options and that we were very much in control. I discussed the option of a sweep/ induction but chose to wait a little longer.

In terms of the birth plan, I spent my whole pregnancy visualising a water birth in the Nest at Warrington hospital. (This room looks like a spa and much less medical than the rooms on the labour ward) On Monday I began to feel unwell like I had an unsettled tummy, so spent the day trying to relax and get comfortable. After a while, I started to time this sensation using the Freya app and wondered if I was in labour. We eventually went into hospital at 1:30am because I was concerned about reduced fetal movement and wanted to get checked over. The staff were lovely, reassured me that our baby was ok and that I was actually already 6cm dilated!

They recommend that we would be best to stay on the labour ward, so that they could continue to monitor us. They made the room really relaxing for us by turning the lights off and using candles. I enjoyed rolling about on a birthing ball and leaning over the bed during surges. I sprayed my room spray that I had used during pregnancy at night and focused on my hypnobirthing track and breathing using the Freya app. It was all very calm and I felt very safe.

As the labour progressed, I opted for gas and air and a little later pethidine as I started to tire. At 8am I was 9 1/2 cm and starting to get the urge to push. We were excited to meet our baby, but the surges started to die off and I became tired, even snoozing between contractions. They asked the registrar to take a look and it was decided that I would have an episiotomy and forceps. Being so tired, I was grateful for the intervention. After another few good pushes they decided that a suction cup would be enough to help us to meet our baby. The head came out, but the shoulders became stuck and the baby started to poo. They pressed the emergency assistance button and the room filled with people on standby. A consultant helped to deliver the baby within 2 minutes and we welcomed our gorgeous baby boy into the world at 12:26pm! Throughout this a midwife spoke calmly to me and although I knew things had become more serious, I was unaware of how hairy things looked for my husband's perspective.

We were delighted with our care and everyone commented how calm we had remained throughout it all. We look back on my labour with positive vibes and total gratitude to the midwives and Elle for preparing us for every eventuality. I honestly think our experience would have been very different if we hadn't of educated ourselves beforehand. Thank you for all of your support and guidance.

'All I know is I was informed , felt powerful and wear my scar with absolute pride.'

So when I first started EGG the first thing I said was ‘I do not want a c-section, I’m terrified of them & do not want an unnatural birth’ first off … what an absolute tool … to think that having an amazing surgery would mean I didn’t ‘give birth’ to my baby … just baffles my mind now, but in all honesty I really put pressure on myself to have ‘the dream birth’ - unmedicated, water birth, twinkly lights everywhere, music playing, just me and Jamie chilling out, I mean this would have been IDEAL and I really did picture it, I could see it, it was within touching distance.

I’ll be totally honest, when I first started EGG I didn’t think a csection would even come into the conversation, I mean we’re hear to talk about hippie natural births … right? How wrong I was and I thank my lucky stars everyday that Elle discussed every possibly scenario and empowered us with all the knowledge possible.

Elle never shied away from the csection conversation, even though I was very reluctant!

Throughout my whole pregnancy Isla didn’t moved much and was always ‘upside down’ head right up in my ribs and happy as larry not moving at all, obviously this became a massive worry for a csection hater like me! Straight on the phone to Elle we discussed everything from ‘spinning babies’, moxibustion, ECV etc. But most importantly we did have to discuss the elephant in the room … the big C.

I can’t lie this was very hard for me, I had planned my birth to a T, I have always wanted to give birth and experience holding my baby for the first time after experiencing my birthing journey, to be told by all medical professionals that was very unlikely killed me!

At around 34 weeks it came to light that Isla was more breech than ever, the hospital were starting to ask me dates for csections and I felt massively out of my depth. So I decided to take the power back, again discussing with Elle we looked back at everything we’d discussed and I decided to go ahead with the ECV … an absolving terrifying concept and everyone I told made me feel 1000 times worse about it but again like Elle had taught us, we became informed, I watched YouTube’s on ECVs, how they were performed, the pain - if any, time frames, possibilities of it working, Elle even linked me up with a breech birth expert who had had a successful ECV. I tell you now , it wasn’t half an bad as what I thought but Isla didn’t want to move and I finally agreed to book a csection date.

I still wanted the power and I wanted Isla to come when she chose too so I booked it as late as possible, around 40 weeks which is very unheard of for a c section apparently.

At this point I was set on a natural breech birth, I’d booked the C in but that was my last option so I started researching into natural breech births and moxibustion. This is something I want to thank Elle for from the bottom of my heart! Before EGG I’d have a quick google and that’s it but Elle taught us that knowledge is power! I was researching breech births like my life depended on it ! I wanted to know everything, I joined a breech community on Facebook, looked up best birthing positions, contacted the head midwife to ask about their breech experience on the ward, myself and Jamie even watched a natural breech birth in action! It was honestly so empowering knowing everything. I did also secretly start semi planning a c section … just in case. Jamie had done a relaxing playlist for me, I knew I wanted him to tell me the sex, for him to cut the cord, to delay cord clamping, skin to skin straight away, breastfeed ASAP, I looked into the best healing methods, spoke to have friends who’d had csections etc. Again - knowledge is power!

My final push to turn Isla was moxibustion, a Chinese herbal medicine used to move the baby through your acupoints. I actually did feel Isla move a lot when we did this every night and felt so positive about it. I had packed my hospital bag, most things were ready and the day before I turned 37 weeks myself and Jamie sat on the bathroom floor to perform our little moxibustion ritual (sounds very sexual it was in the slightest he had to essentially burn my toes) for the final time, little did we know at 1am my waters would break and our little Isla would be on her way.

I was woken by a huge gush of water, just like the movies which I know isn’t always the case, and the first thing I remember feeling was happiness … she’d come on her own terms , no planned c section, no induction, I was so so relieved.

Panic did set in a bit, my surges were painful but bearable, I remember my leg shaking but lots of breathing and remembering our EGG training and we got on our way to the hospital.

Jamie was absolutely amazing, recording my surges, noting them down and I know he thanks Elle for that, he was calm, collected and so prepared. We always talk about how he was reluctant at the beginning of the course but so thankful he did it as it really set him up to be the most amazing birthing partner.

I even remember before we left for the hospital he grabbed our little postcards from the course, our family photos and my pillow from home … what an amazing man.

Getting to the hospital was all a bit of a blur, as soon as I stepped in and told them she was breech I was hit with ‘oh well csection it is then.’ I immediately told them I was going to have a natural breech birth if I could, I’m not going to lie everyone seemed shocked but we started with the checks.

I was loosing my waters at quite a pace but I suppose with everything going on that was the least of my worries. I was 2cm dilated and was getting a scan to double check Isla was in optimal position for a breech birth.

Unfortunately she wasn’t and they explained it would be like a plug, I would keep pushing and she would just be stuck. I was disheartened to say the least. I was busting for the toilet so decided to have a think when in there and as I stood I noticed my waters had changed colour and were now brown, not a great sign and I knew that.

Isla had pooed inside of me and more checks showed she was running out of water very fast. My surges were super close now and I knew we had to make a decision …

deep down I knew Isla was coming quickly!

Honestly I sometimes wish I’d tried the ‘natural’ route especially now that I know Isla and how determined and stubborn she is and I feel like I know my body more! I know it sounds silly but I think the hype of the hospital made me go with a c section straight away and the panic of her being in danger.

Our c section experience was something I’ll never forget, it wasn’t ideal, it wasn’t my dream but it was our birthing journey. I moaned about the injection, Jamie wasn’t there so I felt so lonely and scared but the anaesthetist was amazing! I made them spray me with the ice spray 3 times to make sure I was numb, they asked me if I wanted the radio on and surprisingly in that moment I didn’t. Jamie sat next to me and we just talked, which was surreal. They informed us of everything when they were starting, what they were doing etc.

I remember feeling a bit deflated, I just wanted to feel more surges, feel my body pushing my baby and ultimately, I’ll say it … I felt like I’d let myself and my baby down.

In that moment though I remember feeling a release, me and Jamie were just chatting rubbish really, anything to keep my mind off the fact I was cut open and then suddenly I said ‘the baby’s coming , I sort of feel empty’ I remember so clearly the surgeon saying ‘get ready to meet your baby’ and then there she was being held up,

my little breech baby with her legs up by her head and to our surprise she was a teeny 5 pound 7 - ironically during the whole pregnancy I was being told how massive she’d be !

We had no idea what sex Isla was at first everything was so swollen and I think we were in so much shock I looked at Jamie and said ‘what is it’ and he was like ‘urmmmm’ I slowly looked up and went ‘ohhhh urmmm it’s a girl?!’ The greatest moment of my life.

Unfortunately they cut her cord without Jamie which I’ll always be upset about I think but she was on my chest within seconds , crying, cuddling, snuggling. It was euphoric … until I was wearing her like a scarf because I was laying on my back and then I asked if Jamie could hold her. That’s something I never thought I’d do, hand her over straight away but in that moment I knew they needed a bond and I almost felt awkward holding with without my arms.

In the following hours I was healing and trying to get my head around the fact I was finally a mama to the most beautiful baby. We had skin go skin for over 7 hours ! Isla fed like a champ for the first few hours and although later that night we had some issues we managed to feed for a year! How amazing.

She only wanted to be on me and screamed every time I put her down but I’ll cherish those moments forever, holding her, smelling her everything was just perfect even if she was a little sleep thief.

My birthing journey was nothing like what I expected or planned and in all honesty I wonder if I’ll ever fully be accepting of it, I also sometimes wonder if Isla will feel upset if I manage to have our next baby naturally or whether I’ll feel different about our bond.

Ultimately deep down I know I won’t, my bond with Isla is so special, she strokes my scar when she sees it , I like to think it’s her saying, wow mummy I came out of there.

To see what my body has made, how it has healed and how hard it’s worked , it’s absolutely fucking amazing !! How amazing are women !!

A c section is no walk in the park and the aftercare is so much more than what I envisioned but I am so proud we all had that journey together, as a family and what an amazing birth story it is, it’s our birth story!